“Life in Retrospect” Part 2 – Forgiveness

This post is all about forgiveness. That wonderful word that people have heard time and time again, but may not truly embody the action. Yes, I said action of forgiveness. It isn’t just a word, it is a feeling, an acceptance, and a freeing of guilt. Let me explain how I came to understand this action and how I knew I was truly embodying it!

Several years ago, while still living in Ohio, my Husband and I went through the worst time in our marriage. So bad that we actually found a marriage counselor just to help with the conversation between us two. I remember the counselor worked at a Community Church and was this laid back, khaki shorts, socks and sandals kind of guy. Real chill, if you will.

During our first session, he listened patiently to my Husband and me give our side of the story on why we felt our marriage was in trouble. After we had our chance to speak, he simply said; “You two must forgive one another in order for the healing process to take place. You have both hurt each other in ways neither of you could understand at this point, but I promise you that if you practice forgiveness your marriage will work.” I immediately asked, “HOW?” He told us that forgiveness is requires never bringing up the wrongs someone has done to us once we have decided to forgive. Now, yall know this would be difficult because what’s the first thing we do when we get into an argument? We bring up old stuff and remind our love ones about how horrible of a person they were.  This is not good, says Pastor Khaki shorts (protecting his name). He says we are to ask for forgiveness from our love ones and if they decide to forgive, they must never bring up the past again.

OMG! This was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life! And I know some of yall are going to think, that’s super easy to do Dreamer, what’s the big deal?! Well friends, I want to challenge you to think about something you are holding onto or about someone who that you haven’t forgiven. Now tell me how would you feel if you were asked to never bring it up and to let it go. Don’t you feel like looking up at God and asking; “How come you are going to let them get away with that?” LOL! I know it sounds bad, but God knows our spirit and he knows what’s in our hearts, so you ain’t hiding anything from Him.

I believe when you pray for help in a certain area of your life, God presents you with opportunities that allow you to practice and demonstrate how much you have grown in that area. For example, there are people who pray for peace, so in return, I believe God gives them situation to practice having a peaceful mind. I remember when I first started my Spiritual Journey I always prayed for God to help me with letting go of Control. And let me tell you something, He definitely helped me with that one because I was constantly shown that I had no control over anyone or anything other than my own mind and even that Monkey got out of control! HA! So, in my experience with forgiveness I was presented with many situations to practice.

For example, my Husband did several hurtful things to me that I wasn’t expecting and I had to forgive and let go. Also, my daughter became a teen and boy oh boy, did I practice forgiveness like a champ during this time! The only way I knew I was getting the hang of things was when one day my 13-year-old told me this; “Mom, I think you are doing an awesome job in raising me. I know I have made plenty of mistakes and lost my mind several times, but I am truly blessed that you forgave me. You are such a good person and I have no doubt that when you pass from this life you will become an angel. If Jesus was still around, you would definitely be a disciple.”

Now yall know I was ready to cry like a baby! That was the sweetest, unexpected, rewarding thing you could hear from anyone, especially your child. All I have ever hoped and prayed for was to set an example for people on what it means to be loving and Christ-like. It’s hard and I am definitely not perfect, but it is so worth it to know people are inspired by your actions rather than your words.

So, put yourself to the test and see if you are able to forgive a fellow brother or sister in God and see how people react when you walk the walk of a true FORGIVER!

Love and God Bless!

 

 

“Life in Retrospect” Part 1 – Marriage & Love?

When my Husband and I first moved back to Texas, we weren’t greeted with hugs and kisses. Our families weren’t lined up to welcome us back. Actually what we were greeted with were weary eyes from our love ones, especially those who were married. We couldn’t for the life of us figure out how people with so much going for themselves and their families looked and acted so unhappy with one another. Well heck, to be honest, we may have seen that same look way too often within our own marriage.

I noticed that the married couples around us didn’t really enjoy each others company. In fact, I can’t honestly say I saw any of them show any type of affection towards each other. It was almost as though they were two room-mates living in same house. There was no talking, hugging, or even “I love you” at any point of the day. My husband and I picked up on it very quickly because we would notice one of the “room-mates” watching us with a smile on their face. Which of course creeped my Husband out. LOL! But, he is always creeped out, so that is not saying much.

The sad part was, I wondered what happened in these relationships which caused them to no longer be friends. Sure, my husband and I had our problems, but one thing you can count on is hearing laughter coming from our direction. We truly enjoyed each others company. Mind you, we have learned over time to enjoy our personal space as well, but to have a good time with your Spouse is priceless.

During this time of settling back into Texas life, I met a woman named Dora. She was this sweet lady who rented us the temp house we stayed in and she was drawn to my light. The first day we met, she told me all about her husband and how he left her after 35 years of marriage to be with a younger women who he worked with. She said he told her he wanted to feel needed and like a man. She said she refused to do some of the things he asked for because she wasn’t that kind of person. I listened and prayed God gave me the right words for this lady because I knew she was put on my path for a reason. Suddenly, she told me I had a very strong presence and that she felt like she could talk to me about anything. Side note, I have heard this from many people in my life and I now understand that it is the power of healing God has blessed me with, so I was not surprised she said it. She talked to me about how she didn’t know what to do and how she was lost without him. What God put in my Spirit to say to her was; “You take as much time as you need to get pass this. Your love doesn’t turn off like a light switch. It takes time to release the dream you held onto about your marriage. You have to find a way to focus on reality and accept.” We spoke often after that and I continued to encourage her to not feel bad about her situation and to just accept what is happening.

Here’s the thing about these encounters, I believe God wanted me to see the importance of living each day with no expectations. The importance of accepting your love ones as they are. We so often try to change folks when we get into a relationship and I now know it’s a technique we feel would keep us safe from being hurt. We meet these wonderful people and fall head over heels for them, but as soon as we commit, we think that once amazing personality is way to dangerous for a relationship, so we tear them down or try with every bit of our energy to change them. Then what are you left with? A shadow of the person you once admired and adored. You are left with a broken person who doesn’t feel worthy enough to be with you. Who is constantly wondering what’s wrong with them and why cant they make you happy.

I  have been with my Husband for 7 years and it wasn’t until 2 years ago that I really understood this concept of acceptance. People are who they are and if we can let got and Accept, you would be amazed at what blessings God has placed in them. Learn to love harder and let go often!

Love Me!

 

 

 

“Life in Retrospect” Introduction…

It has been quite an experience moving from Ohio back to Texas, but so much has happened in my life in such a small amount of time.

My husband, daughter and I came back to Texas with no jobs, and no personal possessions besides my awesome Prius (Percy, like Percy Jackson, HA) and one Acura on its last leg or shall I say wheel. I wasn’t sure what to expect from the relocation, but I knew God called Us back for a reason. We stayed with several family members before we finally landed a temporary spot and when I say temporary, I mean short-term, 6 months to be exact.

The following threads will talk about the many occasions where God revealed Himself to people through me! Which is such a spine tingling experience each time it occurs. I am truly thankful and feel so honor to do our Lords work where ever I can. So, for the few of you who were so kind to follow my initial posts, you are going to be in for quite the adventure…lol! Just kidding, I just wanted to sound like a movie trailer. LOL! So stay tuned and I hope these stories inspire you in a way that God meant them to.

Let’s Begin!!!

 

The Humble Soul

Hey Folks,

This morning I heard the most amazing definition and description of a humble soul, that I had to share it with you. It comes from a book I am listening to (too lazy to read) called “The Seat of the Soul”, by Gary Zukav.

Enjoy!

” A humble person walks in a familiar world. He or she sees friends everywhere he or she looks, wherever he or she goes, with whomever he or she meets. His or her perception goes beyond the shell of appearance and into essence. He or she sees the attributes of people around him or her – big body, small body, strong body, weak body, quick intellect, slow intellect, yellow skin, brown skin, male or female, young or old – and on and on – as costumes. He or she does not believe that anyone will change this costume at the end of the day, but he or she also knows that everyone will leave it behind at the end of a lifetime. Ashes will return to ashes, and dust will return to dust. That is the way it is with costumes. They do not last forever. They do not even last very long – a century at best and much less for most people. The soul is a different story. The soul is immortal.

So the humble person is not as interested in these temporary clothes as in what is wearing them. The soul is wearing them. When a friend walks into the room with a dress or suit that you do not like, do you stop liking your friend? You know about her. You know her challenges, hopes, and aspirations. You know how difficult her life is, as is yours, and that it also has experiences of elation, joy, and contentment, or at least how much she wants to have these experiences. You cannot feel superior to her because you know how much your life is like hers. The humble person sees everyone as a friend because he or she knows that everyone’s life is as complex and as difficult as his or her own. How could he or she ever push anyone away who is on the same challenging journey that he or she is on, and so often struggling just as hard. That is what makes the world friendly to a humble person. He or she sees the soul that is wearing the costume and he or she loves that soul, even if the personality (costume) is difficult to be around for too long, or is angry, or jealous.

The next time you feel less than someone else, inadequate, or inferior, remember that “humbleness” doesn’t have anything to do with those experiences any more than it means lowering yourself to make a connection. There are no lower levels to a humble person. There are no higher levels, either. There are only souls. There is only love. Humbleness is one of the great gifts of authentic power – and you give it to yourself.”

By: Gary Zukav, author of “The Seat of the Soul”

The Soul…

It has been a long while since the last time I blogged about anything concerning my spiritual journey, but I think I am ready now.

Today, I would like to speak on the matter of the “Soul”. For so long I considered my Soul to be a part of me. Like a limb or a birthmark, but never completely ME! It wasn’t until God led me to books and lessons which taught me more about the soul, that I started to realize that I was actually breaking through my finite understanding of what the human soul actually is.

From my understanding, it is me and God wrapped up in one ball of beautiful Light and energy. It is what makes me love, care, laugh, create, and heal. It is my core. Why did it take me until I was almost 33 (Feb. 17th is my birthday!) to allow this thought process to develop without judgments from my ego?! And now that I see the beauty in my own Soul, I can in return, see the beauty in so many other individual Souls.

One day at work, a co-worker of mine asked, “Do you think we should bomb the terrorist and end their murdering of innocent Christians?” Of course, I prayed as he was asking me because I knew my answer, as a Christian friend, would plant the seed for future conversations between the two of us. So, I replied, “I don’t believe fighting fire with fire ever works out for either parties. I believe we should pray for these individuals Souls because they are obviously lost and are in need of some serious healing.” Boooooy, I tell ya, the look on his face was that of utter disgust, but there was a small spark of interest as well and I knew I needed to elaborate. So I continued with my explanation. I said, “We are all from the same God. Whether we call him Bob or Buddha, He is our Maker. So if we acknowledge that God made us ALL, then we must acknowledge that He placed a Soul within all of us as well.” I could see the wheels turning in his mind. He then proceeded to throw another hardball of a question at me and asked, “So you are saying we sit back and do nothing while these folks die?” I replied, “I think praying for their (the terrorist) healing and spiritual growth is truly a powerful weapon. What you see as horrific acts of crime that should be punished by an equal or greater force of power, I see the Human Soul that never dies and therefore killing their shell will not solve the greater issue. We as a human race are not connected with our eternal soul the way God desired for us to be. We apply too much focus on external power and not on our internal power, the Soul. I think before we try to win the war on terror, we should begin with winning the war of our Soul against our ego. The battle first takes place at home. With our spouses, children, relatives, and most importantly with ourselves. Once we conquer that conquest, there is no telling what we can accomplish!”

The tone was silent for a few seconds and I could tell I hit a nerve, but not the type most folks think of, it was a spiritual nerve. He said, “I think I get where you are going with this. You are saying do what I can and let God handle the rest?” I then replied, “Yes. Do what you can to contribute to the spiritual growth of others and God will handle the rest in deed. He never takes a day off!”

The message I was trying to relay was we are all beautiful to the core, however many of us are not in tune with ourselves as beings of light. We base our existence on outside opinions and influences, but we never want to turn the mirror towards ourselves. We can focus so much of our attention on things that pull from our Light, but when it is time to turn the attention towards ourselves, the image and direction are blurry and confusing. We don’t want to face the short comings of ourselves, so instead we judge those of us that are put on display for all to see. We can’t truly love the way our God loves until we know what love is from within. My co-worker displayed anger and disgust because he doesn’t know what love truly means. Jesus knew. And although he could have used his Ninja powers to obliterate the folks that were persecuting Him, he instead decided to allow the individuals to proceed with their plans to show how LOVE conquers all.

So, in conclusion, I would like to thank God and all of those helpful, wonderful Souls that have been there for me throughout this transition. I pray and hope I am able to provide food to someone else’s Soul each and every day.

So, the next time you meet someone, pray a silent prayer and thank God for their healing and understanding and for yours as well. Get to know yourself folks! We are fascinating beings and well worth the study!

Love, Peace, and Coconut Grease! LOL!

New Experiences in Ohio Part 3: Fireflies with Daughter

 I decided to include this story because I believe the experience taught me how to take time to enjoy the smaller things in life again. I hope yall enjoy it!

When I was child, my best friend was my Uncle B. You see, he was only 3 years older than me, so we were like brother and sister. I loved spending time with him catching bugs, frogs, and whatever else we could put into our water filled chitterling bucket, which was donated to us by my Grandma. We would go down to the ditch and catch all sorts of creepy crawly things!

As an adult and a mother, I wanted to teach my daughter all about nature and how fun it could be if you have the nerve and imagination to explore it. I had always allowed my daughter to go stay with relatives every summer and she really enjoyed it, but when I sent her to Baton Rouge, LA when we first moved to Ohio, I experienced something that I had to share with her the next time around. That something was Fireflies!

I was coming home from the local market and the sun had just set, but it was still some daylight left in the sky. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me because I kept seeing these bursts of light near the sidewalk as I was driving. So, I decided to pull over to make sure I didn’t need night glasses. And to my surprise, there were fireflies everywhere! It was like watching miniature dancing stars all around me. It was purely magical.

As a child, I would catch these beautiful bugs in mayonnaise jars with my Uncle B and watch them fly around in the jars all night long. So, I made up my mind that night that my daughter would stay with me the following summer because I knew she had never seen fireflies before and she was going to be blown away. Fast forward 12 months and here we were, June 2012. All week long I watched the sidewalks waiting for my sign that the fireflies had returned and I finally got my confirmation.

I remember rushing inside the house and telling my daughter to “Hurry up! I want to show you something!” When we went outside, I took her to a spot where there was an abundance of them. At first she didn’t know what she was looking for, but I instructed her to stay still and watch. She did just that and then all of a sudden they were everywhere! I remember the look on her face when she saw them. She said, “Mom, they look like tiny fairies!” When she said that, I felt a huge cry bubble in my throat, but I didn’t want to ruin the occasion, so I choked it back down. I sat and watched her catch them gently and allow them to fly off her hands. When they took off, their lights flashed and she looked so happy. That very moment I saw a young dreamer in her and it made me proud to be a mother.

You see, I was able to share my love for nature with my daughter in hopes that she will do the same with her children. I can honestly say I probably wouldn’t have paid much attention to something as small as a firefly when my mind was overrun with that dang Monkey Spanks. But since I allowed God to break down what I thought was important and remind me of what was truly important, I was able to slow down and witness Gods wonder at its best. So many of us have childhood adventures to share, but so few of us choose to remember them. It’s almost like we feel the need to leave those experiences in the past, but if you ask me, they are the most exciting ones half the time.

So, I challenge you friends to step out and do something you did as a child. It could be with your own child, a friend, or even a love one. You’ll be surprised at how much better it can be in a world of corporate structure, taxes, bills, and everything else that occupies our lives. You may realize that a good time can come a no cost at all. It only takes you stepping outside and experiencing Gods Glory.

Love Yall!

New Experiences in Ohio Part 2: Canoeing w/ Husband and Daughter

If you read the first installment of this series, then you should remember my story on Kayaking. If you didn’t get a chance to read it, don’t worry about it. This one will prove to be just as entertaining.

After experiencing the thrill of kayaking, I wanted to take my family back and have an adventure together. My Husband was all in and my Daughter seemed really excited as well. I carefully explained to them how it all worked with the drop-off and finding our way back to the starting point. However, this time instead of a kayak, we opted for a 3 person canoe. I had never been canoeing, but figured it was no different from kayaking. I was wrong! The canoe was much larger than I anticipated and a lot less stable with 3 people in it. I decided to have my Husband sit in the front, my Daughter in the middle, and I had the back. Which, I found out later, I should have been in the front, but on with the story.

Shortly after we started down the river, I noticed a slight nervous look in my Daughter’s eyes. I asked her if she was alright and she replied, “Yes”, but I knew she wasn’t.  You see, this was the first time she had done anything like this and I could understand if she was a little scare, shoot I was too! Having my family with me made it a little bit more stressful because they didn’t know what to expect and neither did I. The only thing I knew to do was to paddle when I saw bubbles and steer clear of underwater pipes.

A little ways down we started to approach the spot where the current takes hold of my kayak the last time I was there. So, when I noticed the bubbles, I instructed my Husband that we may need to start paddling in order to have some sort of control of how the canoe will coast. He quickly said, “I got this!” Oooh, but he didn’t have it folks! About 10 seconds after he made that comment, the canoe was snatched up but the current! I remember yelling to him, “PADDLE!”, but he was frozen in fear I guess because he had his paddle to his chest and was just sitting there while I paddled for dear life! My Daughter had put her paddle on the bottom of the canoe and was holding on to the sides at this point. The current was so strong that it slammed our canoe sideways into a tree trunk to the left of us. My Daughter and I flew out of the canoe! My Husband was much luckier than we were because he was able to just hop out onto a small bank. Our canoe was quickly overtaken by water and I immediately went into panic mode!

Thank God some people passing by saw my husband struggling to get our canoe right side up and stopped to lend us a helping hand. They were so calm, which really helped to settle my spirit because I was freaked out! I remember thinking, “Oh great, I recommended this to my family and look at us now. We are wet, my Daughter is frightened with a broken life-jacket and my Husband is probably never going to listen to my ideas again.”

The couple showed us a trick on how to get our boat back on the water and thank God they did! Once everyone was safely inside the canoe again, we took a minute to chat about what just happened. And to my surprise, no one was upset. My Husband said the worst part about the whole ordeal was that he wet a brand new pack of cigarettes! My Daughter said she was a little grossed out over the fact that we could have been swimming in fish pee, but other than that, everyone was cool.

Of course, we had to run into some “cabrewers”, you know, the people who drift down the river drunk. I mentioned to my husband that I ran into some drunk women the last time I went alone, but how I didn’t expect for my family to do the same. We plowed through a good 4-5 people on our way down the river that day. Not because we wanted to, but because we didn’t know how to steer very well. But like last time, they were really cool with it and helped us back on our path down the river.

Once we arrived at the drop-off point, I was so happy to see that no one lost a shoe, and everyone was smiling. My family had a new glow about them thanks to Mama. We now had a story we can share with people and best of all, we shared this adventure together. And to think, if I didn’t embark on a solo kayaking mission prior to this excursion, our family wouldn’t have experienced how well we bond together in the face of danger! Okay, maybe not danger, but really scary, butt clinching fear.

I think the lesson I learned from this is it only takes one person in the family to try something new and step out on faith in order for the rest of the troop to follow suit. If you are the one who is brave enough to try it first, you might be able to convince someone else to do it too and before you know it, BAM!, you have a group of like-minded people willing to join in on the fun! The more the merrier I say.

I can’t wait to try something like this with my family back in Texas! I’m sure we are not done with our adventures on the water. Lake Ray Hubbard here we come!

God Bless Yall!